September 23, 2008

Love is Like a Butterfly

So I crossed over into Iowa.
I had butterflies in my stomach right away.
There was a lot of unfinished business there that is finished now.
I listened to my Iowa song and tried to just be brave.
Mostly, it worked!









All pics taken out my window while driving!
Not recommended - but the best way when traveling alone!

I pulled into my friend's house about 9:00 p.m. just in time to see all the lightening bugs! I loved it! I also went past John Wayne's birthplace. Who knew he was born in Iowa! (Iowans I guess!)

It was so nice to see my friend Sister Jones and her husband.
They were so great to let me stay at their house for a night.
The missionaries live there too so we shared the bathroom - not while they were in it -
just, you know, the same location.

A little Iowa humor -- who would name a town Grimes?
Just the first of many crazy town names to come.


And check out the happy water tower! Every city has one.
(A water tower, but not necessarily a happy water tower!)
One city has a "Hot" and "Cold" water tower!
This city just had a smiley face tower!
So friendly.

I was planning to stay a little longer in the Des Moines area - but everything seems to have worked out just right. I found out my dad was going to have to leave for California earlier than we thought, so I decided to move everything up and get going. I didn't get to see a couple friends that way - but it was worth it to see my dad for a couple days!! Of course!!!
But that comes later - first, Des Moines.

Sister Jones drove me to downtown Des Moines so I could get on my way.
Those butterflies came back to my stomach as soon as I saw the signs for West Des Moines.
This was the sight of a lot of teenage distress - in fact, I'm not even sure I want to include this on my happy blog. But - it is happy because I'm finally done with all of it - so maybe that's why I should just leave it off. I'll just show the symbols of my healing.
But first Sister Jones and I went to have lunch together and it was FUN!

It was wonderful to see her after so many years. You know those people in your life that are just always important to you even when it's been years and years since you've seen someone?
That's Sister Jones. Really important to me.

After we said goodbye I headed over to the home of someone I used to know.
She's long gone now - literally and figuratively out of my heart -
but I just needed to somehow say goodbye.
So I did.


I know you are thinking,
"Well, that's just a silly little miniature bottle of perfume."
And you're right.
But it is also an offering that symbolizes years and years of pain -
laid right down and let go!
Nothing has ever felt so good.
I mean it.

(Hear the choir sing a lovely chord of "AHHHHHHHHHH".)

Then I headed over to the Stake Center where I had gone as a teenager -- so good to see it.
Lots of memories -- dances, piano playing, Amelia Airhead, Becky Allen, the chocolate chip cookie story, square dancing, Sister Williams, Bryan Arazani... so many more.
And the songs - oh the songs that come right to my mind when I think of that Stake Center!


I was surprised at how little it was.
You knew how you go back to your elementary school and you're surprised at how low the ceilings are?
Like that.

Then I headed to the mall! I thought this mall was absolutely the bomb dot com when I was a teenager.
And you know what?
It's just a regular old mall in the middle of Des Moines! Wow!
The piano player was playing which was nice. That used to be a really big deal.


But it wasn't such a big deal now. I just knew this store would have the nicest bathrooms.
That's why I went there.
And that seemed a little symbolic too. :)

I realized so many things on this day.
Here are some of my lessons learned from this day of my trip.
(And about 18 years of thinking and crying over this.)

#1 - I will not idolize people but I will love them.
#2 - Luxury is not necessarily happiness but accomplishment from hard work is.
You really can't buy happiness.
#3 - All people are just trying to make it through. We will hurt each other along the way but we don't have to stay hurt. They didn't get it either.
#4 - I will not be afraid to love knowing my happiness can come from being the one who loves and that true love comes from God alone.
#5 - I really can have anything I want- so decide what I want! It may not be the same as everyone else, so don't buy their advertising that it is!
#6 - I've been to Paris. Come on, Des Moines. It's just a mall. I don't need your umbrella bag. Thanks.

All that from going to this store. And said 18 years.
I pressed on to Ames, Iowa where I got to have dessert with my good friend Cathy Carlyle.


My first job (besides detasseling (which I may soon speak of)) was babysitting her daughters. They are a wonderful family.
It was so so so good to see her and get caught up.
It was as though no time had passed at all.
Except a lot of time has passed and now one of her girls is in medical school and the other will be soon!
So, yes. As a matter of fact, a lot of time has passed!!!

They mow the ditches in Iowa.

And this is how they spray the fields! (Wish I could remove those power lines...)
(Get ready for lots more corn pics!)

The "theme" of my trip was a daily calendar picture.
The day I left on my trip the calendar was the very picture of a monthly calendar I had on my mission.
I had really been hoping for a transfer in September of 1997.
Really, really, really hoping.
Then I turned the calendar to October and it was this picture.
I knew I wasn't getting transferred.
I wasn't.
And then August 4, 2008.
I tore off the August 3 calendar and found this one!
It was the perfect theme for my trip.
I kept it hanging out of my cd player for the whole trip.
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
I had been all these places before - but I returned with new eyes.
And boy, did I see!

The new vision has made me, So Happy.

8 comments:

Fig said...

I don't understand most of the references . . . but love, loss, despair, and triumph are a universal language. Good for you.

LynnEl Springer said...

Freedom! Freedom from heartache, heartbreak, sadness, expectations, etc. I'm so glad you're free now! I don't know that I - I - even knew how bad all of that was for you! I am so so sorry that it took 18 years for your recovery! But you did it! Freedom makes us so happy! I love you! - Mom

Lani said...

I love these musings. And I love the insights you learned. Thanks, Amy. :-)

Anonymous said...

Amy,
I love your positivity(yes, I made up that word.) or should say your positiveNESS. Seriously though your positive attitude in all things astounds me. You are seriously, one of the most amazing women I know. It's funny because you talk about these great women with whom you rub shoulders yet you are one of them too. I am blessed to know you. For real. And I'm happy that you are free from the past.

Steph

Bekah said...

Great pictures and story. I think I really like the mid-west / east states. Although I've never been I want to go and enjoy the sights. Thanks for sharing the sights on your blog. If you could post a few more pictures maybe I wouldn't have to go at all. J/K.
I would love to have a farm especially. Like the ones in your pictures. I'm glad you had a safe trip and that you were able to accomplish much.
All my love.

Meeker home said...

I am glad you found healing. (I must admit- I am all sorts of curious about what actually happened in Iowa, but I guess if you had wanted us to know, you would have told us, so I will now mind my own business). And thanks for your ever-wise and uplifting words. You're so great. I'm better for knowing you!

Stacey said...

I also don't understand a lot of the references...But I guess that happens when you're only like 4 years old- you miss a lot! But I'm glad you were able to go through and find new things and heal from Iowa. And I think that's so so cool about your calendar! So awesome. Little tender mercies. Aw.

Megan said...

Wow, what a trip! It sounds like you had a lot of really important things to take care of, my dear sweet Amy!! Also, I am SO glad you didn't crash your car taking so many pics out the window, you crazy pants!!! :-)